Today is Thursday January 14th, just two more days before my leave. It has been a very busy (obviously) and emotional week for me.
So what happened since my previous post? So many good things have happened to me, together with my best friends. This particular group of friends, is something we like to call ‘Benk squad’. They have made my life so much better ever since I ‘crashed’.
Never in my life have I realised how much friendship could mean to me. They’ve shown me that I can always depend on them, no matter what I do. It’s a rather unique set of people. See, we’re all kind of the same, however very different individuals. We can always relate to what the other feels or experience, even if we do not agree with it. We get each other in all sorts of trouble, but we’re always there to get each other out as well.Though I’ve known these guys for no more than 5 months, they have probably made the biggest impact on who I am today.
Another set of people who are very close to my heart is the people from the ‘Sittard’ as we call it. Who lives there? The warmest family, with an amazingly big heart. They took me in when I was lost, they kept giving me everything they could, though I was not always the most grateful person towards them. I owe my life to them and they will remain close to my heart throughout the entire trip.
After 4 months, I decided it was time for me to head back home, to my parents. My mom was ever so happy when she heard I was coming back for my last few weeks in Belgium. I haven’t slept at home all that often though, and if I did, I wasn’t alone.
About two weeks ago, I fell on my knee and shoulder, leaving major injuries. You could say I was afraid these injuries would interfere with my journey but I decided I wouldn’t let it stand in my way. Although many of my first ‘stops’ are with other tracers (people who practice parkour and freerunning) I will go and see what I’m able to do with these injuries.
So this is what happened this week… Obviously I had some official business to do, since I won’t be working for a long period of time. My other time was spent on last preparations, having fun with my friends, and seeing the people close to me once more before my leave. My car, which will be my transportation throughout the trip, has been changed in some sort of van. I took out the back seat and put a big plank instead, going all the way from the back of the front seats to the trunk. Of course my crazy friends and I thought it would be awesome to put mats in there for the remaining two days. So as you can see, my car is awesomely awesome right now.
While out with my squad, I met this really nice girl. We saw each other every day since that night and we grew really close. She took my mind of things and we really connected. It’s a shame I just met her now, I would’ve liked to get to know her even better to see what could’ve been. Last night was probably our last night together and she was very honest to me about her feelings towards me. When dropping her off at home around 4AM, she was crying and it really hit me, it kind of broke my heart.
I started thinking of everyone I’m leaving behind and my mind was filled with doubts. Tears came to my eyes and I drove for another hour, and slept in the car. My heart aches, remembering all the goodbyes that have already happened, and thinking about the goodbyes that are right in front of me.
To all the people that I haven’t been able to visit before my leave, I’m so sorry and please know that you too have a spot in my heart.
I’m leaving on Saturday, but I’m not quite sure I’m ready for it. I guess I have to be strong now, it’s nothing but normal to have second thoughts at the last minute, what matters is to ignore the fear and step out in the open, to get out of my comfort zone. And that is exactly what I am going to do!
Home is behind, the world ahead. 